According to statistics in Russia, the percentage of families living in a healthy family environment is around 15%. The rest of the families are dysfunctional and their level of happiness is below average. The fault lies with factors such as the level of involvement of the father or the degree of demand imposed on the children, as well as the excessive responsibility of the woman or the frustrated expectations of marriage.
Women have to deal with the idea of sacrifice. The Russian woman is convinced that forging the relationship is her duty, that she has to marry, that all responsibility for the children and the partner rests with her. You have to show them that they have to aspire to something of their own. In addition, girls panic at the idea of never getting married. Social norms require women to marry before 30 and have children before 35
There are three relationship models: the patriarchal, the materialistic, and the cooperative. In the patriarchal model, each member has a perfectly defined role. The woman is obliged to be beautiful, and also she has to be useful: she has to cook, clean, feed her children and give birth. The man works and collaborates with housework. This is probably the model that suits the Russian authorities when they refer to the need to uphold “traditional family values”. “I don’t understand what they mean. If we rewind 100 years, the traditional values contemplated hitting the children, punishing them to be cold, raping your own wife. In the Soviet Union the custom was for a woman to cover two shifts: she first went to work and then served her husband; and the man, on his side, would bring money home and at seven in the afternoon he would go out with his friends to have a few beers. The child grows older and his education is delegated to the school.
Traditionally, the father remains the main breadwinner in the family and regards raising children, especially the young, as “women’s work”, even if his wife earns more money. Although in Russia men can take paternity leave of up to 1.5 years, few do. School-age children need to be able to take care of themselves: they help clean, cook dinner, and take care of their younger siblings.
Unlike other countries where individualism is promoted, in Russia children are educated to feel part of a larger group. While in other countries children are allowed to be noisy and get into public places, in Russia children are tested with this phrase: «Think what people will say!» We can see that unlike other cultures this has a stronger style about raising children since basically they are alone at their own mercy, this does not happen in all families of course but it is one of the parenting guidelines that most are recognized in this country.
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