Teaching children without fear

Raising children is not easy, and there are times when parents resort to threats when they are so frustrated at their children’s disobedience that they no longer know what else to do. The threats are the result of desperation regarding the education of children, but in reality they are useless and in the long term can cause problems in the education of children. Threats are useful while children are scared but as they grow older and lose it, they will no longer be of any use. And the worst thing is not only the use of threat, but respect between parents and children will be conspicuous by its absence. Parents who use them normally is because they have lost control and do not know how to act otherwise.

When you are a parent you don’t have an instruction manual, you do your best, although it is not always how you would like. Sometimes due to stress, fatigue, lack of time … education towards children can seem a bit tense. But it is necessary to bear in mind that the threats are aggressive and no type of aggression, neither physical nor verbal, is suitable for the education of children.

Threats are a form of mistreatment towards children or towards any person to whom they are told. Threats are often accompanied by profanity or passive aggressive words that greatly hurt children and affect their behavior. Fathers and mothers think it gives them authority but it doesn’t really work in the long run. The only thing that this type of resource achieves is that children disconnect emotionally from their parents, hurt their self-esteem and the worst … That there is no mutual respect.

The first thing to keep in mind when you want to prevent your children from growing up with the consequences described in the previous point, is to find a way for your children to cooperate at home, in any situation. Cooperation is essential and for this, you will always have to offer them options so that they feel that they are part of the decisions and that they also see that their opinion is valid.

In this way, the children will respect you and also cooperate more actively and will pay attention to what you tell them because they will feel you are within their same team and not as the enemy that must be avoided because otherwise it hurts them. Remember that as a father or mother it is necessary that respect be mutual and is only achieved with trust and good manners. Authority and fear are not synonymous, and if you want to educate with fear, your children will not be able to have a good emotional bond with you.

Use loving and positive words so that your child can get emotionally close to you every time you talk. Avoid the anger, yelling or bad manners that scare and hurt children so much. Always put yourself in your child’s shoes so that you discover how he may be feeling. If you want your child to be an empathetic person, you will first have to be empathetic with him.

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