disappointment in children

When we are little, we want to try new things, explore and do new activities every day. We see people who succeed, either writing or making the best slime they have seen; but sometimes we encounter obstacles that prevent us from achieving the goals as we wanted or that prevent us from meeting our expectations. As we grow we realize that we are not always going to succeed on the first attempt, that achieving a goal requires perseverance and multiple attempts, but when we are little we hit a wall that prevents us from completing what we want, and when we find ourselves The first disappointment, it will not be so easy to keep trying because we will be forced to think what happens if I fail again?, it is the moment when we present them with a question, this one that we must present to our children every time they have fear of trying something new: What is worse: trying and failing, but finding a way to succeed or give up and not knowing what we would feel when we achieve our goal and objective.

For a child, disappointment can come very easily, her expectations or goals may not be so easy to achieve. Whether it’s a fun outdoor game that is ruined by the rain, because there is no more chocolate ice cream left, because you are not invited to a birthday party, or because you cannot swim in your favorite pool because you must wait for the sun is hidden. Although we would like to prevent our children from being disappointed, we cannot. And actually, that’s a good thing, disappointment brings strength and a new sense of determination and perseverance in our children.

As parents we must explain disappointment as the first step towards success, if we do not teach a child to handle disappointment appropriately, we may later encounter an adolescent or adult «reluctant to disappointment.» As a consequence, they tend to give up very easily or simply stop trying, which ends up reinforcing the feeling of failure and, when the time comes, makes them feel incompetent. Without help and encouragement to learn to overcome their own emotions, they may end up spiraling into self-pity and depression, not wanting to take any risks due to fear of further disappointment. Let us remember as parents that these emotions can flood our senses, we must constantly support our children so that they can understand everything around us.

Some things we can do to support our children who fall or encounter obstacles along the way:

  1. Give her a choice when the unexpected happens. Children between the ages of 4 and 7 often feel that they have less control over their lives when something doesn’t go right for them. However, giving him the opportunity to make a decision can be enriching, and it can also easily change the situation.
  2. Avoid «fixing» the problem quickly. Rather than rushing to «fix» the child’s problem, let him or her solve it on their own, whether it be a «fight» over the ball or a broken toy. Although it may take time, you will end up learning that you could improve a bad or negative situation on your own.
  3. Find ways the little one can help others. Even at a more or less young age, selfless acts are tremendously helpful in giving children the opportunity to put their own problems in perspective, helping them to feel that they have made a positive difference, thereby becoming an important attitude related to resilience


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