Being a parent is not just about providing, educating, and loving; it is also, often without realizing it, becoming the first mirror in which our children see themselves. From a young age, they learn by observing us—beyond what we directly tell them. It doesn’t matter how many times we insist that they be kind, empathetic, and responsible if, at the same time, they see us behaving in the opposite way in our daily lives. The truth is that many of the attitudes we have as adults are unconsciously passed down to them.
For example, in the adult world, we constantly accumulate emotions. At work, in daily life, with friends, and even with family, we often hide what we truly feel. We suppress anger to avoid conflict, pretend we are okay when we are not, and carry frustrations without allowing ourselves to express them. The problem? Our children see us. They learn that expressing emotions is not safe or appropriate, that they must keep their feelings inside because «that’s just how life is.» And without realizing it, we teach them that vulnerability is a weakness when, in reality, it is a fundamental part of emotional well-being.
We want our children to be generous, to share, and to genuinely want the best for their friends, but what do they see in us? At work, in social circles, or even within the family, we sometimes act with ulterior motives. It might be that moment when we secretly hope a colleague makes a mistake so we can point it out or when we quietly celebrate that someone didn’t achieve what they hoped for. If our children see us taking pleasure in others’ failures or constantly comparing ourselves to others, they will learn that success is not about growing together but about being above others.
Then there is the matter of effort and perseverance. We want our children to be hardworking, to not give up easily when faced with difficulties, but what happens when they see us give up on something because it seems too hard? If they hear us constantly complaining about work, responsibilities, or life’s challenges, what message are we sending them? If we want our children to understand the importance of effort, we must demonstrate it ourselves. Facing challenges with determination, seeking solutions instead of excuses, and showing that every effort has its reward is the best way to instill these values.
Throughout life, we interact with all kinds of people—loved ones and strangers alike—and one of the greatest qualities a person can have is how they treat others. We want our children to be respectful, to listen to others, and to be tolerant, but how do we talk about people when we think no one is listening? How do we speak about someone who has hurt us or someone we disagree with? If our children see us speaking poorly of others or showing contempt, they will learn that respect is only applied when it is convenient. The way we treat those around us is one of the most powerful lessons we can pass on, and it is essential to ensure that it is a positive one.
The reality is that our children absorb not only what we teach them with words but also what we show them through our actions. It is not enough to tell them how they should be—we must embody it ourselves first. The question we should ask ourselves is not just what we are teaching but what we are modeling with our own attitudes. Because at the end of the day, they don’t just listen to what we say; they learn from who we are and how we navigate life.
123 por mi 